With dusty boots and dirty, tangled hair, I am back home.
I immediately take off my clothes and take a shower to clean all the smell right off me.
While I scrub the dirt off my skin, I go through a range of confusing emotions.
Once again, I was forced to see the world for what it really is.
The circumstances were sad altogether.
The fucking struggle always gets me down, man.
I try not to be ungrateful, and yet I am shown that I am.
I am guilty of playing blind.
But maybe the end result could mean something great is coming?
I don't like getting my emotions too pumped up, just in case.
Expectations are always a trap.
I feel tired, but I don't exactly know of what.
I think I saw parts of me in someone else's face.
And I swear I have seen that same look in my eyes.
The same sinking pain.
It felt morbid. But it was the truth.
I am still trying to navigate this rough seas all by myself without drowning.
But today, walking around the halls of pillars that hold all the dead weight, I really felt like I wanted to see you once again.
I mean it, and that is my problem.
That has always been my problem.
That I mean things, good and bad.
I always pour my whole heart into it.
And it brought me flashbacks too.
I really came to realize how families intertwine.
Without anyone knowing how we came to do what we are doing right now.
Nothing but vestiges of some ancient beings that we never got to meet.
But all of you are the sole reason I am alive today.
Your ancient battle-scar is my open wound right now.
I just didn't know it until today.
Suffering to purify the soul.
Listening: "The End"
by The Doors